Poker Face

Since when are relationships like poker?

I remember when I was 18 years old, in college... it was holiday break and we got snowed in for days... Luckily I was at my boyfriend's house with a bunch of friends so we were able to keep occupied. I'm dating myself, here, but this was before facebook... before smart phones and way before tablets. We had to be creative to keep from getting bored. This was a time when a deck of cards was all you needed to have fun.

This was when I learned how to play poker.

I must have had beginner's luck, but I was fortunate enough to make a little money. I think I won a little over a hundred bucks, which was a lot for a college kid. I remember so little about how to actually play poker, but what I do remember is I really knew how to keep a straight face. I had a good poker face... I wasn't gonna tell anyone what was in my hand. Looking back, I probably had no idea if my hand was actually good or bad. So I probably couldn't tell anyone what was in my hand, even if I wanted to...

Which leads me to my point. I have no idea how to play this game...  the dating game. I've never been good at it. No one told me that dating is like poker. No one told me to keep a poker face. When I was younger, I could keep a straight face for a game of poker. But there's a big difference. Now, I know the cards I'm carrying. I know my hand is good! But I do NOT have a poker face. My hand is written all over my face. I show my every tell... I might as well have my hand plastered to my forehead!

But guys have really mastered the art of the poker face! Like, "eh, it's no big deal." With this guy I'm dating, it's like mixed signal central. He has the best poker face ever. I haven't figured out any of his tells. When it comes to matters of the heart, he is straight faced! A part of me doesn't think I have even penetrated that heart of his. If I have, then he is damn good at hiding it. <Grrrr> Damn poker face!

I would love to be able to keep a poker face through certain aspects of my life. I would love to give men a taste of their own medicine. But I suck at this game. I haven't won at poker since the beginner's luck wore off. I think it's part of being a woman... We can't hide our feelings.

Just once, I want to be the chick that says, "Read 'em and wheep!" Throw my cards on the table, and walk away with the pot! I wanna win ...at love!